Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
