my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
