it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
