whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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