Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
