You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
