Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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