I need help removing her.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dignity is for republicans.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
