i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
