if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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