I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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