and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
