We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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