Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I want to fling myself into the sun
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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