Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
