I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
