Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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