Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
