How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
