i already hear my dad disowning me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize