Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
