The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
