sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
