I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
