I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
