pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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