Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
