coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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