with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
