She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
