No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize