Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize