Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
