I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
