Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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