There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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