i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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