"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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