Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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