Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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