In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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