There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
