Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
