I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
