drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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