one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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