So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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