Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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