Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
