As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
