Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I looked at my own cervix.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
