How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
