Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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