My brain says no but my pants say off.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
