idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
