the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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