They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
