Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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