i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
