i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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