I never want to see another naked old woman again.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
